It’s ironic that I decided to chase the freedom to be the artist I always was as a kid during lockdown.
I gave myself 12 months to figure out what medium I was drawn to (pardon the pun) and thoroughly enjoyed the freedom of abstract work. Yet, when my hands got hold of clay it was ceramics all the way for me.
Now I’ve finally figured out I can have my abstract clay cake and eat it too.
(Disclaimer: don’t eat clay…or abstracts…)
My first word was bun (as in bunny, not the little cakes, although that may have been close). I pushed my toy rabbits around in a pram, not plastic babies. I was happiest when I was drawing and reading about wildlife. My Grandad George said, “I was always doing something.”
As I grew up I enjoyed mucking horses out much more than makeup and boys.
Why Art? Why Now?
Taken out out of the village school to, “spend less time drawing (time wasting) and more time learning (maths)”
The pressure to be a success and to prove my worth started early and only really stopped at the start of the pandemic in 2020. The world ground to a halt. I had the chance to stop doing and start being.
There’s a reason why we’re called human beings, and not human doings.
I suddenly found myself daring to wonder whether my childhood artist was capable of finally breaking free of the shackles of, “art is just playtime, it’s for fun, it’s not proper work.” I decided to give myself 12 months to explore what my voice was, and how I was going to use it and boy have I found my passion. I wish I’d done it years ago – but then I’m a great believer in everything happening for a reason and at the exact time it needs to.
After finally leaving the safety net of creating art using the computers and machines I’d relied on for over 20 years, I got my hands on some clay. The cool sensation of the earth in my hands took me right back to childhood, where I’d rub the cool glass eyes of my teddy bears as a soothing mechanism. I’d rub them so much that they would become frosted. I was calm, I was in the moment, I was free. To say I’ve fallen in love with ceramics would be an accurate way of describing it. I’ve always been one of, “life’s worriers,” and found comfort throughout my childhood in sharing my space with animal figurines – taking them out on chilly winter walks with them all snug in my coat pocket gave me great happiness. Wrapping them up in serviettes at a restaurant; there was something intrinsically maternal about my feelings towards them – to protect and love, to share my deepest thoughts and feelings with them as well as having fun and looking for joy together.
I’ve always known I’ve never wanted to have children; my heart space only available to animals, nature and art. Ceramics give me the FREEDOM to combine these three elements and creating in this way is mending my heart.
In my 30’s I had an experience that I’ll never forget. It completely opened my eyes to a world beyond what we can see.
It sent me on a spiritual journey which I’ll be on for the rest of my life.
So now I say without hesitation that I am a qualified animal communicator, medium and reiki provider – all elements I use when connecting with nature telepathically and when creating my art.